Monday, February 13, 2006

A Nice Change

One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it's such a nice change from being young.
Dorothy Canfield Fisher, 1879-1958, American Author and Essayist

Dwelling on age is not something I do much of, trying to define humans by numbering them is foolish so it is simply an incidental in the big scheme of things. How you feel and see yourself is a much better and more realistic qualifier. Self image and attitude will either make you old before your time, right on the mark, or forever young.
I am not really middle aged anymore...unless I live to be 104 which seems a bit much. I am at an awkward stage; too young to be old and too old to be young, similar to how it is when we are growing our hair longer and we reach a point where we cannot wear it like we used to but it is still too short to wear it like we want to. But I began living during that time so I am much fonder of those memories than of any earlier ones.
My belief, (and it grew during that middle aged span) is that whatever age you are will not matter to other's if it matters not to you. More importance ought to be placed on how we survive than on how long we have been alive. And if we find a formula for getting through the bull-shit with a measure of sanity intact, we need to share it as willingly as we pass around tasty recipe's.
I enjoy the sensation of being older and would not return to being over young even if I had the chance. I do not mourn my lost years, I simply will not donate more time to mistakes made there. Agelessness is my goal. And I would rather paint an abstract with bright colors than stay between the lines of a paint by number life.