Friday, October 28, 2005

Hoarding Riches

Many persons think that by hoarding money they are gaining safety for themselves. If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man can have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. Without these qualities, money is practically useless.
Henry Ford (1863-1947)

The things invested in mind and heart cannot be touched by wealth or the lack of it. I have little in one regard, and much in another. I would not trade one for the other. To possess both must be wonderful, yet if I can only have one I will gladly take the one I already possess.
Money is not my God. And hoarding it is not my habit, but I am really no fair judge since I have never had much. I do like the special security of having all the bills paid, each month; at present that is all the safety I can afford. But in knowledge, experience, and ability I have a bit more to bring to the table.
My independence comes at a cost that money cannot pay. I was stunted and shrunk by the life I once had, freeing myself from its baggage is an never ending struggle that makes my life now worth living. I tug and pull at the ties that bind old fears to a mind weary of trembling. I know before long I will be entering a time of vast change, I can feel myself gathering energy to spring forward. All recent lessons have been about the future, complete with tests at the end of each chapter finished.
A period of growth, like no other before, is upon me. I am a much different person than I was six weeks ago, with no end in sight. The life changing process, going on inside of me, is more priceless to me than all the money in the world. But it is often quite unnerving.
I had forgotten how overpowering it feels to fear the fact that things may never change more than I fear the change itself. I have felt it before, but never with such intensity. This time it is all the more so because I am well aware that time is limited. The pressure of a deadline makes it weigh heavier upon me, which has only prodded me into action with a vengeance.
In the last few weeks I have learned several important things. Now I know that standing in place, even for a short time, builds ruts. Now I realize the safety inside a four cornered room inspires fear of what lies outside its gentle walls. I was forced by reality to admit that a tower princess must fight her own demons to unlock the door of her pretty prison. I not only unlocked the damn thing, but unhinged it too and burnt it for safety sake. I have personal proof that a soul will scream as loud as necessary to get a person in gear when it is given a voice. And last, but certainly not least, doing something you are certain you cannot do makes anything seem possible.