Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Gentle Arguments

Use soft words and hard arguments. English Proverb

Nothing gets your point across quicker and makes more fighting, about the same issues, impossible than wise words, gently said. When my husband roared, I rarely gave in because he was right, but I often went belly up just to end the madness. Things had to be re-argued at a later date, so it was always more trouble than it was worth to just achieve momentary peace by such means.
Once I changed my attitude, it became a simple thing to choose the battles I was willing to fight and arm myself with weapons that gave me the edge needed for victory. I opted for reason, forged with knowledge, and encased in the language of my soul. I rarely lost and once territory was conquered I refused to battle for the same ground again.
It is not what you say, but how it is said. It is not the one who yells the loudest who wins the debates. Changing someone's outlook by force is a fools errand, it simply does not work that way. Screamers make me close my mind to save my sanity, not open my mind to adopt their way of thinking. Gentle persuasion is something that works wonders when nothing else does, but be certain that you are fully informed about issues before you open your mouth. Being gently wrong is almost as bad as being a loud mouth without a clue. And choose battles that mean something to you, or do not bother fighting at all. Why fight for landscape you do not want to occupy?