Thursday, August 04, 2005

Achieving An Even Better Result

Often we can achieve an even better result when we stumble yet are willing to start over, when we don't give up after a mistake, when something doesn't come easily but we throw ourselves into trying, when we're not afraid to appear less than perfectly polished.
Sharon Salzberg, O Magazine, The Power of Intention, January 2004

This is such a soothing quote, saying that even the clumsy, stubborn, and down trodden can succeed if they keep at it. I have a stumbling grace, a bull headed streak, and boot marks, from being trod on, so I should do fine if I just keep trying. And there is no chance, in hell, that I will just sit meekly and accept what comes as good enough. New territory is always my next destination.
I filled out papers this week, for student aide, so that I can take some college courses. I am constantly filling my brain with new information, doing so in a new setting will be surreal. And spending time with people that speak the language will only add to the experience of writing. I have few enough around me now that really understand the issues involved. I suffer from isolation from time-to-time, expanding the orbit I rotate in should alleviate some of those symptoms.
In my own view I am ageless; I simply refuse to place myself into a box and close the lid for the sake of years spent here on earth. If I only count the years really lived I am still an infant compared to the number fifty-one, which is what the tally is on paper alone. To do more with the little I have than someone who has it all and appreciates it not is my delight, making conquering my fears a contest of major importance. Being ordinary is not such a cross to carry if it is done with flair.
The past tries to recapture parts of me that no longer exist. Renewal and rebirth can be chosen ways of life. And one more cheerful attempt at achieving an even better result just might gain the jackpot I hunger for...