Friday, February 18, 2005

A Bumpy Day List

I hope nobody reading my posts gets the mistaken impression that my life is problem free. Every life has problems that demand attention, but I only give them whatever energy it takes to solve them if I can, or accept them if a final solution is not possible. Dwelling on what I cannot rectify would just enlarge the dilemma, and fretting about the fixable would just waste precious time.
During relatively problem free periods I step as lively as possible, but when times are rough I adjust my speed and adapt to the situation as best I can. Long range goals do not disappear, although my focus shrinks to get through the day size. I make realistic lists, using them as touch stones to mark my progress through each day until I regain perfect balance.
It may seem a bit silly, but first thing on my list is make up. I know if I look my best I will feel more in control. I know that when I lived hopeless I did not care how I looked, so caring means I have hope. And hope is everything on bad days. Hope will carry you to safer ground if you hang on to it long enough.
Small tasks come next. Things that can be done without thought. As I complete each my confidence builds. The day I complete them all and have to add more is always a reason for celebration. The day I put that list away and refocus on long range goals and dreams yet to be realized is a special rebirth.
I give problems what they demand, but I resent overpayment enough to keep firm control of what is paid. I do not cry impotent tears. I do not whine for sympathy. I look for a solution as I gather my touchstones then I walk on at whatever speed is possible. When no hope is evident I create my own. All it takes is practice and a list of small realistic goals. If you do not have a bumpy day list try making one and squirreling it away somewhere handy. It always works for me.