Friday, December 03, 2004

Dealing With Scar Tissue

Everyone has burdens to carry, we each own things that slow us down or stop us cold at times. I am no different in that. I have more than my fair share, but its my way of dealing that makes me who I am. I do not hide my humanness. I do not apologize for mistakes endlessly. I learn from them what I can then move on. I share them with who they may touch, but do certainly not seek to feed the masses with my blunders.
The people who know my heart, recognize my complexity, admire my strength, and gift me with their love, gain much from every encounter. I know well how to give, learning to take is much harder. I have spent my whole life being leaned upon, trusting enough to lean is much harder. I have scar tissue, but do not try to claim otherwise, I just know that blaming the wounder is not a way to heal.
I dare to be different in my dealing with the shortcomings of others, because I am painfully aware that I have plenty of my own. What has been done to me, in one way or another I aided. After admitting that, I had to forgive all or stay forever unforgivable myself.
A good friend told me just the other day that we are all angels with dirty faces. She dares to be different too, and it shows. I stand at the face washing stage of my life, with a heart bursting with joy, and I dare to be different, because I am. No rut will hold me stationary. No censure hold me down. No further abuse will ever leave behind scar tissue for me to mend.
Dare to be different. Dare to be real. Dare to hold your dirty angel face up as you forgive yourself for being human enough to screw up so easily. Learn to step over the pot holes, or fill them in if you can. Learn then move on. I did. It is just one way I dare to be different.