Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I Would Rather Live

I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.
Harry Emerson Fosdick

My life overflows with mysterious possibilities, but only because I do not limit myself to the mundane. I challenge, I question, and I explore whatever is happening inside of me and whatever life offers with the same gusto. I lived a life so stifling, for such a very long time, I just naturally rebel against walls of any sort. I climb the ones that try to keep me out and knock down the ones that try to fence me in.
I do not hold myself safe and secure within boundaries placed as markers of lines never to be crossed. I do not fear the unknown, but welcome it as a great alternative to the same old tired actions repeated by rote. I ask more of myself than rut walking, I demand that life gives me more than it takes. I push when necessary and tug when possible, always paying special attention to each moment as if it were my last.
Little pleasures are magnified and slowed to a pace that seems to lengthen each delight. My memory holds a magical scrapbook of snapshots taken as I have challenged life to give me all it can. I could have just as easily compiled one filled to overflowing with flashes of the bitter disappointments I have suffered, mostly silently. Somehow celebrating my defeats does not seem a very good use of my time, so I keep the lesson and delete the image as soon as I no longer need it to highlight what needs to be learned.
A mind left to wander where it will usually lingers upon the negatives. The brain is a wonderful thing to explore and magical in its power to shape what goes on around us with just a bit of prompting. I ask mine to do things in a measured way because I know that each thought pattern holds its own price for use. Any power given to the negative costs dear and any positive delivers treasures beyond the imagination. Control your space using that measure as your guide and unlock your possibilities. I did and have found a place of happiness that nothing negative can touch. The trip here was brutal, but the destination was worth every ounce of agony suffered to get to this point.