Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Dream Gripping

When you have a dream you've got to grab it and never let go.
Carol Burnett

This is certainly true if you ever expect it to succeed. Nothing happens with a dream kept safely deep inside of a mind that never believes in its possibilities. A glimmer of hope will strengthen into soul-deep certainty with some tender care. Every dream begins as a glimmer before it becomes the blaze that forges a purpose strong enough to give your very being over to its health.
I have a dream. I have a certainty. I have a purpose. But without faith it is just a collection of thoughts, and without action it is just mind trash, pretty but useless to anyone. Lately I have learned many hard lessons about dreaming things into reality. There is a responsibility that comes with any soul-deep dream; it is a sacred trust if the things touching others have your name and image attached.
Dream big, reach high, but never allow others access if your soul is in turmoil about them in any way. A dream taken too high, before the one in whose heart it resides is ready to control it with confidence, is bound to failure. The site gifted to me over a year ago was instantly abandoned by the man who built it, even though he was well aware he left me with hands tied. His dream was to build a website and he did a wonderful job. My vision and his skill shaped every page and it is a delight to see.
Every day since his abandonment, I have struggled to keep it going and find someone to take his place.
I thought that had been accomplished finally, but the truth is I am much worse off than before help arrived. Abandoning my dream is impossible, so I have to abandon the main site that I have no skill to add to or take anything away from. But...in no way am I abandoning my dream. I have another site http://www.sisterhoodsupport.com and I am perfectly capable of handling it on my own. It will not be as fancy, but it will be: my hands...my dreams... my hopes...my vision, but not for me only; it all revolves around you.
This journal is the core of it all and anywhere it rests secure, I will be satisfied. My dream to lend a hand is not something I can simply set down and walk away from. It was born of agony...my own and my families, my friends and their families. It was brought to life from deaths...my husband, my nephew, 2 of his children, and my son's best friend. It was given breath by murder and suicide...and a sacred promise made at a grave side.
A dream with such a visible road to this place is much too deeply rooted to ever leave in the dust. And dragging it through the mud is too awful to contemplate. So I did not down-size my dream, but I am downsizing its focus, until my skill reaches a point of expansion, or the hands willing to help do not set alarms ringing inside of me.
Bookmark this page and you will be at the heart of whatever space I inhabit. Click on the title and visit the place it is housed. Journey's End is as much a state of mind as it is a location on the web.