Monday, August 08, 2005

Instant Agony

TODAY'S QUOTE:
Grief is the agony of an instant, the indulgence of grief the blunder of a life.
Benjamin Disraeli British politician (1804 - 1881)

I have known many grief's in my lifetime, and know that I will suffer many more. I have grieved, but I am not my grief. I know people who are little else except the pain they embrace, and I try hard not to follow their destructive examples. They never get passed the point of impact, because they focus on all they have lost. I concentrate on all I gained.
My giving my life to endless suffering will not give Jerry one more day of life. And he grew to hate seeing me sad, so my tears would only irritate him. His voice would ring in my head, and as much as I loved him, listening to him bitch at me from the great beyond is not an experience I want to invite.
I put my pain to good use here. I expose it for a higher purpose than to make others feel sorry for me, keep your pity for someone who needs it. I use it to say fix what is broken while you still have the time and energy to do so. I use it to say claim your space and fill it with pride. I use it to comfort and comfort myself in the bargain. What is given to others is impossible to keep hugged to yourself.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE
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