All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership. Ann Landers US advice columnist (1918 - 2002)
The art of battle is something I learned long ago then taught to my husband. He was a dirty fighter before the lessons, but an apt student who really tried to stop resorting to evil words and deeds to get his way. If he could learn then anyone is teachable if they only have the desire.
Insults and force lay waste to the battlefield. They gain ground maybe, yet making a victim of someone you love steals some of the space owned in their heart. Enough bloodbaths and its possible you will own nothing of any value. Standing in a wasteland alone is not a winner glory. It is a fools paradise.
The urge to return ill treatment with equal force can make a real mess of things. If someone is shooting you with an elephant gun and you are only armed with a butter knife it is all too easy to pull a cannon forward and try to silence them forevermore. But again to what aim is such behavior directed? Too destroy an enemy? Round and round it goes and nobody wins in the end.
Arguments do not have to be loud and ugly. You certainly will not be more right if you are simply the loudest. Discussions are opportunities to forge understanding, not times to force feed your opinion down a loved ones throat. Approach gently a friend and they will hear you much better than if they are treated like an enemy and forced by you to become one.
THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
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(TOO TRUE, TOO OFTEN)