Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Fated Footsteps

During my journey I have been alert enough to take notice of things that others often miss. My writing ability has made it easy to express those things, and my mindset is such that I have a different way of viewing life. My mind simplifies seemingly complicated issues to a level I can understand, and what is understood is much easier to control.
The things that move my soul also move my feet. I travel the road dictated by the healer, because sensing pain in others is the way my soul works. It would be much easier to be selfish and ignore what I see at every turn, until I blinded myself to it enough to walk head down in a perfectly safe rut with so many others. But I view this ability as a God given gift and I try never to second guess the boss.
I seem to have a calming effect on people in panic and distress. That carries a special responsibility to use that ability to do the most good in the broadest avenues available. This place is only a beginning. In no fashion do I view myself as better than any of the other walking wounded I meet and try to aide. I did not seek this in any active way, and often feel I do not deserve it.
But deserving does not really play much a part in life. Nobody deserves to be abused, death happens to the innocent too, addictions weaken even the strongest of us, depression steals some, hopelessness robs others. Having tools to overcome what ever is holding me back and sharing them with others is the lifepath that seems to have been chosen for me. It is my passion and it moves my feet firmly onward in what seems a fated direction.
I believe we each have a fate, but I also believe it has to be embraced to bloom. To deny the gift given is much easier. No selflessness is necessary when you just rut walk. Your fate is there, often buried soul deep. Listen to that quiet voice that just will not be stilled. Let it move your feet. I am learning new things every day about how to embrace my promise. I am not religious in a mainstream way, but I feel a firm hand prodding my back, and I trust the direction it is directing me toward.
I still have a long way to go before I rid my life of the things that no longer fit in a perfect way. I do my best to be all I can be, but some days that is still a sad nothing much. Not as often as it used to be, which gives me hope of making days of failure less and less likely to happen. I should reach my journey's end though if I take as many fated footsteps as I can. Hope to see you there beside me at its ending.