Monday, January 17, 2005

The Many Shades Of Love

I was asked to write about my view of the concept that love conquers all. I happen to believe that it can if its hue is vivid enough. Love comes in an almost limitless variety of colors and sizes. Some rich shades have the strength to surmount any obstacle and last a lifetime, some lightweight colors fade until there is no trace left, showing that they ever existed.
My mother told me long ago that love is not always enough, but I did not really understand her comment at the time. But now I get it all too well. The fact is that love has to be healthy to support the weight placed on it by any relationship worth having. Trust and respect have to be the base on which it rests, without those it lacks the basic framework to build upon.
To love and to be in love are different too. Sometimes one person feels the one while the other feels the other, both valid emotions, both love, but such a mix can cause much heartache. I know this too. And once felt, crossing from one to the other is almost hopeless. Impossible to just make yourself feel what you do not, or them either, for that matter. And worse yet there is no one to blame.
If you have a rich healthy love then yes, love can concur all. Rejoice in your good fortune. If you have a faded one it is possible to bring the colors back to life if both partners work at it. If there is no life or color at all and no energy or help to punch up the shading then beware that love does not conquer you. Sometimes no love at all is much better than suffering through one that too often feels like hate.