Thursday, October 21, 2004

Lessons Learned

Every morning I have the same conversation with myself. Remember who you are. Remember how far you have come. Show the world how strong you can be. How resolute. How wonderfully different. Unique. Special. I have to believe it first though. That is the first rule of success. Believe!
Some lessons have been harder to learn than others. The price paid for some is too steep to dwell upon. But each has been priceless. The bad ones are valued as much as the good. I have often gotten more self-knowledge from viewing my dark side than I could have gleamed any other way.
The quality of life glows with unlimited promise when you learn from mistakes. A good student feels pride at the things they master. The harder the lesson, the greater the pride. The most interesting lives often overflow with mistakes that inspire self-awaremess of unique intensity. All wise old women were once foolish young girls.
Heightend self-awareness is an awesome high like no other I have ever experienced. And it comes from inside. You control the dosage. Its purity is produced by the purity of your understanding and the way you use it to help others. Good intentions count for a lot in the equation.
My goal is to use whatever literary talent I have to teach all people to look deeper into each other's hearts. We mostly just rush on by one another, without really connecting. Pain is all around, no matter which way you turn. Exploring someone else's makes it impossible to leave your own untended.
I know what it feels like to be in intese pain from a multitude of various conditions. I understand that pain often makes us act in ways we normally would not choose to. I realize when you recognize why someone does something that wounds you, it makes the healing an easier struggle. Understanding makes forgiveness a less demanding issue. Sometimes the clemency belongs to others, but most often the hardest pardon is yours alone. It is the sweetest gift you will ever give yourself. I know.
My orbit is so small in space, but I have traveled far and wide emotionally my whole lifetime. Using what I have learned makes sense of all my suffering. Sharing it soothes me and just might help someone else.
It is all to easy to just drift through life. Most people do it without really trying. But I happen to posses an intense aversion to being lumped in with most people. I'm different. I know things.
I know that pulling on my bootstraps strengthens my spine. I know that my life is full when I stay true to myself. Denying any part of my being derails the whole. My thoughts are important, because I bother to think. My mind is always busy with deep thoughts that inspire questions and demand answers. When I channel that energy toward the written word it all has meaning.
Why should anyone else care about my wild imaginings? So many humans walk blind. If I was not in the habit of thinking deep I would be grateful if someone got my attention and explained the benifits of mind control. Some people know a lot of facts they learned in school, but know nothing at all about touching their own core or reaching out to someone else's. Those folks could learn valuable lessons from the special things that I know.