"Conquer your foe by force, you increase his enmity; conquer by love, and you will reap no after-sorrow."
This quote has such depth. I've seen it in action in my own life, so I know the truth it foretells. Force implies wrestling of body or mind; one opponent overpowering the other... one left prone in the dirt... the other towering above. To allow goodwill to direct the actions of your spirit and the moving of your lips often alters the ones you're dealing with from foe to friend, leaving no bitter residue behind for either to swallow.
Synonyms for the word conquer are: dominate, overpower, subdue, subject, subjugate, vanquish. These are all powerful words with negative definitions, unless they're used in the context of conquering a negative inside of yourself. To place any other person in the subjective role by force enslaves them and slaves have such a nasty habit of rebelling.
Enmity is defined as hatred which may be open or concealed. Either way it'll rise again to bite the one it's directed toward, while damaging the one who harbors it inside the deepest recesses of their being. A bit of restraint and patience can eliminate the need for any after-sorrow on either side. Even if it doesn't help your foe, it'll always benefit you.
To respect the boundaries of anyone you're in conflict with instantly leaves space for compromise. I talk gently to people even when they don't do the same to me. I don't take instant offense at things said out of anger and frustration. I attempt to stay balanced especially when others are wobbling. I've found that to do so helps my state of mind and also leads to a spot where real communication can and mostly always does occur.
When we use hate or resentment as fuel we only build a fire that's out of control in seconds flat. The person you direct it toward may counter with a similar blaze. Two negatives, pointed from opposing sides causes an explosion in each persons soul. When the smoke clears on the battlefield whatever hate each felt at the beginning is magnified to measures beyond description. The war never ends there, no matter who won the battle. PLEASE TAKE SOME QUIET TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT...LET IT RIDE...THEN YOU DECIDE!!!