Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Be More

Be more splendid, more extraordinary. Use every moment to fill yourself up.
Oprah Winfrey

This quote is my hope for all who read here. And it is also my hope for myself. I make an effort to siphon every drop from all the time I have. My mind is never still; it is constantly reaching out for new information to use in mapping whatever territory it is exploring. In ways I am just beginning to understand, my mind is getting its first real education.
I focused on emotion for years, cause and effect was my major. I watched as an observer then processed what I saw to select the proper tools needed for control. I took those tools and reworked the situations in the best way to solve issues.
Then I attempted the same with physical, observing, selecting, reworking, for control. That struggle has been much more difficult, but I am well on the way through much of the reworking and do not doubt that control lurks somewhere nearby.
In the mist of it all is fear, which bars every door I need to open. My saving grace is that I am much more frightened of never getting through a door than I am of what lies on the other side. But I am slowed each time, by fear produced in a factory that others built. I do not believe that this will be a condition that will plague me forever. Simple awareness that a factory exists makes it impossible to leave it standing there in my path.
But to fill myself fully from the fountain that stands waiting just ahead, I have to first empty my head and heart of all of the unnecessary fear housed there. I have begun the process, yet have much left to do. With fright it is a given that when one blaze is put out at least two more will ignite. Fear needs us to enable it for it to exist. When it senses we are getting the better of one of its infernos it creates more to take its place. But here again awareness is the key.
Some of the best and deepest ruts are fear lined. And it is impossible to scale a high wall that is ablaze, much safer to walk in the center with a wet towel over your head, following the feet you see just ahead. To escape takes valiant effort. Facing the fire is the only way you can extinguish it, and you cannot do that with your head hidden or bowed.
Awareness is the key to all things. Knowledge places the door within your reach. So fill your mind with tools to assist you in your journey. Become as self aware as possible then keep pouring information in. I have been doing this exercise for the longest time and have only scratched the surface. But now I have acquired the need for heavier equipment and the desire to learn how to operate it.