Saturday, June 18, 2005

Stepping On Thorns

If you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot. Italian Proverb

Well, it's the 18th and I'm 3 days behind in my posting. I was blindsided by my site builder/webmaster and am left struggling to stay sane while I decide how to proceed. I guess this is another life test, but in some ways it seems like just a jumble of unanswered questions left over from someone else's testing. In my view it seems unfair since I've moved heaven and earth to stay online and do the tasks I'm committed to performing to the best of my ability. But life isn't fair.
Being abandoned at this stage is hurtful in so many ways, not to me personally, it's my dream that is wounded and limping now. But I cannot control any heart except my own and that's just what I'm busy doing now. Not one tear was wasted over this dead horse, but I did kick it twice as I stomped by. The kicks were for my satisfaction only, I knew the horse wasn't gonna rise. Symbols were destroyed, not with hate, but because their season had ended.
I hold no grudges, he is only doing what seems best to him for his own life. I can't fault him for that. I learned long ago that depending on others is often a foolish pastime, so I'll do what I can and hope for the best. I'll search for a replacement as soon as the dust settles inside my mind. I'll struggle on alone until then safe in the knowledge that as long as I do all I can I won't be plagued with what if's when it's all said and done.
Good luck to you Sentex. I hope the dreams your chasing now reach heights never imagined. You paid the help I gave you forward, so in that way you succeeded in full measure. Our Journey's End grew from that, so it's better to celebrate what was gained than mourn what is left unfinished.