Sunday, January 09, 2005

Dear Anonymous One And Two,

The comments at the bottom of my last two posts are appreciated, especially since the subject matter was painful to dwell upon. What you lived through in your childhood was in no way normal, by the one size fits all standard, although it was the normal where you were. Not right, but reality. Normality is a lofty concept when a persons world is controlled by the abnormal behavior of others.
That past normal is not your reality now, though. That battlefield was replaced long ago with a much gentler landscape. Childhood baggage is really heavy, but it can be lightened enough to carry in comfort by embracing the feelings, absorbing the lessons then moving on.
Birth is a crap shoot. Really living is deliberate. We can't choose our parents beforehand, but with measured steps we can choose a life once grown. The echo of the past can be almost soundless if you move far enough past its point of origin. Those footsteps have to be deliberate too.
Celebrate that you survived. That alone proves how very strong you are. Have pride that you avoided becoming a carbon copy of either of your parents. You won't willingly keep the cycle going. Feel more complete than the fractured people who raised you so haphazardly. You earned it, fair and square.
We all make mistakes. A life of regret does not unmake them, but only adds to the price paid. Each day is a new beginning. Pick one. Begin fresh. Start over. Pass go, collect a get out of jail free card and play the game to win.
Forgive them, forgive yourself, and don't be afraid to try. Baby steps if necessary. Don't be afraid to fail. To try is never a failure. It's a victory, all in itself. Start small. No need to rush toward the big hurdles until you get over some tiny ones to warm up on. Pick a direction, choose a destination, and travel at a comfortable pace. This journey, after all is your own.
I pray that something said gives comfort somehow, to each or both of you. In the sisterhood often-times answers transcend problems, and hurdles both big and small are faced then overcome with deliberate movement beginning with the same first steps.
Sincerely Yours,