A Gift From A Friend

I was playing Bejeweled, shifting gears between the writing I did here earlier and the writing that only gets done on my other computer, when I received an email. Sing Cher, thank you for the gift of the awesome reality of inspiring thoughts and the flash movies created there. Thank you for sharing this one with me in such a special way. To pay it forward is my way, so I put it here with pride, sharing it with my friends in the same way you gifted it to me. A higher hand moves in you, and I am very touched that He moved your motions today in my direction.
This flash movie made me more aware that these are truly my golden years, not because of number, so much, but because of content. Here's hoping that all reading this can say the same. For those who cannot yet make that claim, take heart. Once upon a time I could not say it either. Moment by moment and step by step we all get to wherever we really wish to be, if we only try, one moment at a time, one step then the next.

THINK ABOUT IT

LET IT GROW

THEN DECIDE

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(NEW YEAR'S EVE)

Reflections And Sunbeams

It was 70 degrees today, impossible to tell the season just by looking. I took a long ride with my window rolled way down and the radio turned way up. My thoughts lingered on the familiar places I passed, tracking the changes in my surroundings and my differences since each played a part in my life.
Some places that I lived in long ago have been torn down, one place where I worked is just an empty shell, but today in my memory they lived. As I remembered them I recalled the girl who cowered in spots that no longer exist and knew with certainty that she is nonexistent now too.
As I drove toward home the skies grew cloudy. I was beginning to mourn the loss of light when a silver slit appeared and a bright sunbeam reached for the ground just ahead. I laughed loud at its appearance, for it brought back a memory of a dark day, two years ago, when my crazy friend Jeanette kidnapped me so we could search for sunbeams. We found several that day, but the first one seen was on the same bridge. The joy of a new sunbeam was heightened by the echo of an old one. Now that I have no need to chase sunbeams to brighten my day I was gifted with one. The drive home was heaven.
To all my crazy friends, both old and new, I wish you a very safe and Happy New Year. I spent the day simply, on gentle reflections of a time that is finally far enough away to be pain free. I will spend the evening simply too, tending to future stepping. The last day of the year seemed like a perfect time to put pieces of the past to rest and begin working on what is waiting for me just ahead.

Tsunami Disaster Prayer

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REMEMBER JUST HOW LUCKY YOU ARE

RESPOND IF YOU CAN

WITH HELP IF ABLE

AND PRAYERS FOR CERTAIN

Perfect Perspective

Well, today brought disappointment, but it also gifted me with the strength to put it quickly into perfect perspective. Plans have changed for New Year's Eve, but plans for the New Year are still intact and untouched by this minor bump in the road. My happiness comes from a place that does not depend on anyone else, so although I felt momentary sorrow, it passed quickly without leaving any debris behind to hinder my way.
To give it more importance than it deserves would be a total waste of energy. To rant and rave would not restore plans. To cry would only wash away any joy I could find in other things. To blame, even if there was someone or something to heap it upon is not my way of dealing; resentment is not my cup of tea. So I take reality and cherish it, letting all the things I possess inside myself be reason enough to celebrate no matter what happens that is outside of my control.
To be the best I can be means shouldering my disappointments with as much grace as possible. So family and friends, plus all others who visit Journeys End, I wish you as much joy in the New Year as I am feeling. For me 2005 looms bright with promise, not because of where I spend its beginning, but of how far I can travel by its ending.

THINK ABOUT IT

LET IT GROW

THEN DECIDE

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A Friends Touch

The gentle touch of a friend, whether physical or just the touch of their glance can keep you centered in ways nothing else can. When my husband was minutes away from the end of his journey I panicked internally in a big way, then glanced at a friend who had driven hundreds of miles to be by my side. What I saw in her eyes touched me soul deep and instantly quieted all chaotic thoughts.
I saw pride. She told me later when we were days past that moment in time, but I already knew. I could almost hear her soothing voice, and her belief in my ability to see tragedy through its darkest moment helped me and my whole family. I straightened up, and coped with a grace that I had for a moment forgotten I possessed, for her sake alone at first. But within seconds I owned it again for my sake alone. And my family watched and stayed strong because I did.
So touch your friends often and touch them well. When arms cannot caress let your eyes embrace. You never know when a gentle glance will make all the difference in the world to them and benefit all who gather near. My friend was proud of me and it showed. I lived up to her expectations, and surpassed my own. Without even lifting a finger Charity gave me a touch that will never leave me no matter how long I journey on.

THINK ABOUT IT

LET IT GROW

THEN DECIDE

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(TOUCH MY HEART)

Connections

Connections between humans, whether positive or negative fill or empty us of pure energy. Opening self up to another in a real way links energy, and the joy of a positive makes it impossible to let worry about a negative stop us from the attempt.
Energy shared in a positive way enhances everything. Seeing things through someone else's eyes expands how we see things. A soul mate of any kind, whether romantic in nature or not gives us a safe garden in which to grow. Roots go deep in rich soil. And bonds that last a lifetime begin with our willingness to give first if necessary and not just simply be satisfied to take.

THINK ABOUT IT

LET IT GROW

THEN DECIDE

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(WHEN WE SHARE)

The Courage

Fear is an enemy to all mankind. Some things do need to inspire fear, for that keeps us safe from harm. But to let groundless fears paralyze you from change, when change is the only thing that will set you free, is a crime that will land you in a prison of your own construction.
Fear the fire so you do not get burned. Fear deep water if you can not swim. Fear the real dangers of life, giving them the respect of listening to their message, but do not heed the foolish fears that come from standing in one place too long.
Have the courage to alter what you can about a life that is making you unhappy. Change what gives you real grief, and you will be above the fingers of fear that hold you in place. Try something new, an avenue never taken before and the freedom of your soul will give you the courage to live the life you never dared to dream possible.
I am committed to the path I follow. No other human dictates my footsteps and I depend on no human for my own happiness. In my travels I have found the courage to say with certainty that even if I walk this path alone, I will find true happiness in every step I take.
I stumble, for sure, from time to time. I ache for a hand to hold, at times too. But when I fall I have the strength to get up again without assistance. And the hand I wish to grasp is not one that will pull me along, but one that will give simple companionship on the journey.
God, grant me the courage needed to always live the life you gifted me with. Fate, blow a gentle wind at my back to keep me ever going in the right direction. Destiny, be a light that beckons me forever forward. Time, be precious enough that I spend you with good sense. Life, embrace me when no other arms do. If I travel past my fears all the above are mine for the taking.

THINK ABOUT IT

LET IT GROW

THEN DECIDE

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(COURAGE)

How Deep Is Your Knowing

How deep is your knowing of any heart not your own? How vast is your knowledge of the people who share space with you? Do you know bare facts only, like things that would fill a credit report or have you bothered to dig for soul information.
Getting to know someone deep takes courage, I know. The sharing of vital things does not come cheap, asking much of both investors. Trust is needed in abundance to uncover parts hidden from the world at large, and compassion is vital to appreciating that gift of special knowledge.
I never assume I know a person well just because I know where they work, live, or play. Jobs, homes, and playgrounds change. If those were really important in the larger scheme of things when any altered the whole process would begin again. But knowing the soul of another leaves no blank spaces to refill even if all other facts change.
How well you are willing to know others depends on how well you are willing to know yourself. And that is a struggle of another kind. Practice on yourself first, then really introduce yourself to a special chosen few. Disregard all bare facts, ignore the size of bank accounts and homes, things of a worldly nature tell nothing of lasting importance about what is housed inside. But the value you place in bare facts tells a lot about who you really are deep down.

THINK ABOUT IT

LET IT GROW

THEN DECIDE

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(TRY TO KNOW OTHERS)

A Train Ride

I took a train ride yesterday, a small adventure a friend said, but it was so much more. My first small steps beyond the boundaries set by the past are huge when viewed from my side of the spectrum. I gained more confidence from an hours ride alone, than I ever could have from a million traveled with anyone else.
So here's to train rides of every variety to destinations unknown, and the nerve needed to buy the ticket when the chance comes. Here's to chances given, and chances taken. May yours be numerous and filled with wonder.
All new beginnings follow endings of some sort as a natural progression of time and space. Time changes every landscape from what you see outside your window to what you see in the mirror. Embracing what is does not in any way devalue what was.
But packing your bags with too many things from where you have been leaves little room for filling them with treasures yet to come. So my wish for all my fellow travelers are empty bags to fill as they travel along.
Here's to filling them to overflowing and gaining the strength to carry them as far as is healthy before emptying them, without regret, then refilling them again over and over till journeys end.

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(PRICELESS GIFTS)

My Simple Plan

I make it a habit of doing for myself the things that bring me closer to where I want to be. I grope blindly at times, but never stop reaching out toward what is waiting to be discovered. I try to surround myself with bright travelers, and follow their example when necessary, but do not allow myself to just be content to simply walk in their footprints.
I would enjoy sharing the journey with someone with vision, but I dreamed them alone for long enough to know that they do not depend on others to be real and valid. Many friends see a portion of what I see, and one sees them clearer than anyone ever has, but my view is always clear even without seeing the reflection in someone else's eyes.
I do not plan to always walk alone, but if I must I can. I do not plan to be carried from place to place on someone else's coat tails, but a helping hand is always welcome. I do not plan on standing still and watching others reach places I could reach too with just a bit of effort. My only plan is simple. I plan on listening to my heart, giving wings to my dreams, letting a higher power guide their flight, and keeping enough of my sanity during the journey to reap whatever rewards my dreams bring with confidence that they are fated and divine.

WHAT'S YOUR PLAN???

THINK ABOUT IT

LET IT GROW

THEN DECIDE

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( THE ROAD TO SUCCESS)

A Beautiful Journey

My life has become a beautiful journey, fueled by dreams achieved and fate embraced. Each footstep is scarey, but the thought of standing still is much more terrifying. I fear being satisfied with what I have now, when so much more just waits for me over the next hill. It will not simply come to me. I have to go to it, or accept this space as my final home.
Everything I have written about is being tested at this time. To drop the ball now would be to instantly make all my words just silly utterings. I am many things, but silly is not on that list, I pray. So I step forward past my fear, leap over every obstacle, and travel on.
I started this blog to help others, yet in a real way it helps me too. I read it from first post to last before I sat down to do this and can clearly see my own growth in the words I write. I say do, try, believe, then I follow my own advice. I say dream, imagine, soar, then I do. I say notice, own, and cherish your moments, because I know how far that can take you toward where you want to go.
I got word yesterday that the next poem I submitted will also be made into a flash movie, and today I submitted one more for consideration, because I plan to be busy putting some personal things in order and seek to not lose momentum while my focus is elsewhere.
I seek balance for every part of my being, to strengthen the whole. I seek independence from fear of all kinds that would make it easy to just call what I have accomplished so far as enough. I seek my destiny with no preconceived notion of just exactly what its form will be. That I do it in such a public way gives me strength that I would never have possessed any other way. What was good enough for me when I started this odyssey is no longer my reality.
I do not mean material things at all, but a richness that comes from within. If it brings wealth that will just be icing, but if I never mixed the cake there would be nothing to ice. And if I never began the climb I would never know what is just over the next hill. Are you a hill climber or a valley dweller?

THINK ABOUT IT

LET IT GROW

THEN DECIDE

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(FOLLOW YOUR DESTINY)

This Movie Is My Own

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(SOMEDAY)

THIS ONES MINE

NO WORDS SAY ENOUGH

SO I SAY NO WORDS

Moving On

First thing this morning I put the past away in its special box, and snapped the lid shut without pain or regret. In reality it could have been done in comfort long ago. The woman who surrounded herself with pictures does not reside here anymore and neither does the man in them.
Moving on has to have its markers, though and I suppose this is one of mine. And the empty frames I placed back in their chosen position is another. I look at them with wonder, blank slates to fill with dreams come true, or new friends made and cherished.
Jerry was my past. I gave it my all then, but have nothing more to spend there. I am seeking my future, and moving on is my creed. Over the next hill, around the next curve, fate awaits my acceptance or rejection of its reality. I move toward it as fast as I can in comfort, with open arms. No use looking behind, because I am definitely not there anymore.

THINK ABOUT IT

LET IT GROW

THEN DECIDE

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(DON'T LOOK BACK)

Awakening

I had an awakening, but coming awake only acted as a catalyst for everything that has happened since. The process goes on and on, and if I am lucky it will continue to do so. What you do once alert is what gives it such importance. Actions and deeds performed after you are upright matter most. How awake are you?

THINK ABOUT IT

LET IT GROW

THEN DECIDE

CLICK ON TITLE FOR LONG FLASH MOVIE FILLED WITH TONS OF TRUTHS ABOUT AWAKENING

Seeking To Be Wise

I am actively seeking wisdom, while I go about the task of aging as slowly as possible. My body will certainly grow older with every tick of the clock, but my heart and soul can be ageless if I grow in wisdom enough to be worth talking to once I can do little else. Broadening myself now in ways that will benefit others later is my aim.
I spent twenty-four years working with the elderly, and studied first hand the many differences between the
ordinary and the wise. The I, me mentality, carried from cradle to grave is a sure sign of ordinary. An ordinary elder will notice what everyone else has and covet more than their fair share. Like selfish children they pile up the largest stack of toys then cry because no one wants to play. Most often they only want an audience, not an active playmate.
The wise notice what everyone else has too, but give of their own bounty to someone who has less, evening the score somehow. Wise elders help God to grade on a curve that helps everyone. They glow with a special fire, and leave a warmth behind that lasts a lifetime. Other humans, of any age, are drawn to them, hanging onto words spoken that echo on long after they are gone. I bet each person reading this can name at least one wise elder who touched them in some unforgettable way.
Every life is full of opportunities to gain insight. Times filled with hunger to know or understand, where our link in the chain is positioned, are common to all. My focus is just dedicated toward lesson learning so that if I ever reach my golden years, I can do my part to help even the odds for everyone.

THINK ABOUT IT

LET IT GROW

THEN DECIDE

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The Reason People

I believe that we are just fated to know certain people. They fit instantly into our lives, as if handpicked pieces of a unique jigsaw puzzle. Some fill empty spaces inside us, joining jagged parts together. Some expand the total picture, more vividly defining its scope and color.
People who are supposed to be in our lives for a reason make us more alert. Sharing space with them broadens our ability to experience a link with the universe.
Cherish the reason people in your life, while you can. The length of their orbit there is often brief. And be a cherished reason person yourself when a higher force places
you in such a fated position.

THINK ABOUT IT

LET IT GROW

THEN DECIDE

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(A REASON, A SEASON, OR A LIFETIME)

Your Image

The image you view yourself with is the one you show the world. Use soft light, complimentary colors, gentle glances, or whatever works best to improve that image first with yourself then with others. Life can twist our eyesight and circumstance can blur our vision, but if you always remember what an awesome creation you are others will remember it too.
Humans glow when they feel comfortable inside their own skin. A mouse can evolve into a lion if they envision themselves as such. What holds us back is not the hand on our arm, but willingness to be held. It is often easier to just freeze, and blame the holder, when one step forward would set us free. So in a real sense you stand still out of apathy or unwillingness to just take that one small step.
It is so easy to be convinced that you lack something that would make you more than you are. It is much easier to stay in the rut, than to claw your way out, but as long as your unwilling to claw it is a certainty that rut dwelling is your fate. Plodding along is a simple journey. Head down, sights low, following where led is an easy life. No thought necessary, but no soaring either. Try stepping high to the sweet drum beat of your soul, because it will always lead you to a place of joy. It knows you can, if you only take that one small step.

THINK ABOUT IT

LET IT GROW

THEN DECIDE

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(THE MAN WHO THINKS HE CAN)

Moment By Moment

I view my life as a series of moments, strung together on a make the best of each rope. The negatives are handled with the notion that this too shall quickly pass, positives are savored as slowly as I can possibly make each one last. Anticipation of good, always overshadows the dread of its evil twin, for to walk in fear would only make an uncomfortable moment begin too soon and last too long. Mornings are new beginnings. Each day a chance to improve. Every moment an invitation to live, and grow, and reach the apex of my hearts desire. I desire to really live. To freefall into the moment. To soar over any rocky terrain to the oasis of my soul. See your moments, live them to the fullest, before they all too quickly slip away.

THINK ABOUT IT

LET IT GROW

THEN DECIDE

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(EVERYDAY IS CHRISTMAS)

Dealing With Scar Tissue

Everyone has burdens to carry, we each own things that slow us down or stop us cold at times. I am no different in that. I have more than my fair share, but its my way of dealing that makes me who I am. I do not hide my humanness. I do not apologize for mistakes endlessly. I learn from them what I can then move on. I share them with who they may touch, but do certainly not seek to feed the masses with my blunders.
The people who know my heart, recognize my complexity, admire my strength, and gift me with their love, gain much from every encounter. I know well how to give, learning to take is much harder. I have spent my whole life being leaned upon, trusting enough to lean is much harder. I have scar tissue, but do not try to claim otherwise, I just know that blaming the wounder is not a way to heal.
I dare to be different in my dealing with the shortcomings of others, because I am painfully aware that I have plenty of my own. What has been done to me, in one way or another I aided. After admitting that, I had to forgive all or stay forever unforgivable myself.
A good friend told me just the other day that we are all angels with dirty faces. She dares to be different too, and it shows. I stand at the face washing stage of my life, with a heart bursting with joy, and I dare to be different, because I am. No rut will hold me stationary. No censure hold me down. No further abuse will ever leave behind scar tissue for me to mend.
Dare to be different. Dare to be real. Dare to hold your dirty angel face up as you forgive yourself for being human enough to screw up so easily. Learn to step over the pot holes, or fill them in if you can. Learn then move on. I did. It is just one way I dare to be different.

THINK ABOUT IT

LET IT GROW

THEN DECIDE

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(DARE TO BE DIFFERENT)

Dreaming For Nerve

I used to consider myself as a weaver of dreams, but lately I have been living dreams more than I have been having them. In so many areas of my life things seem to be progressing in an almost fated fashion. My wagon is paused admiring landscape I had not expected, of such limitless proportions far oureeaching any conscious imagings of my own mind.
My dreams are still present, yet my life has become almost magical, as if I am somehow living someone else's fantasy for me. I would have been satisfied with so much less, and called it more than enough. But now I know for sure that I am on my true lifepath, and am only glimpsing a small portion of my own personal paradise.
Today I got word that a poem I wrote in 1991 will be made into a flash movie. I only dreamed of submitting, but did not dare to dream of succeeding. I dreamed of having nerve enough for trying. Once that email was on its way fate took over.
And the speed I received an answer was astounding. It seems surreal, somehow, but it taught me a lesson.
Wonderful things can happen very quickly by email. Real things that seem much too wonderful to be happening to me. I will continue in my own fashion to simply dream up enough nerve to try, do my best, clink on send, and let fate take me where it needs me to be.
And I will look at the landscape with the wonder of a child, because life for me is a magical thing. Every day a new miracle of rebirth and rediscovery to all who dare to try for their dreams and have the nerve to live them when they happen.

THINK ABOUT IT

LET IT GROW

THEN DECIDE

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(LIFE IS A MIRACLE)