Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Soul Ulcers

TODAY'S QUOTE:
Envy is the ulcer of the soul.
Socrates Greek philosopher in Athens (469 BC - 399 BC)

Envy, a cancer that eats everything in its path. Jealousy, a monster that destroys from the inside out. Greed, a insatiable taskmaster. The hardest part about feeling these emotions is the effort it takes to rid yourself of the shadow they leave behind. They gain you nothing, yet cost more than any man ought to be willing to pay.
Spite is a child of envy. And revenge is too. Regret is the by product of any action taken with those childish intentions. I never stoop to their level, because I have watched so many others act in haste and regret at their leisure. And I for one have a lot better uses for my spare time.
I played catch up today, getting yesterdays post done and today's too. Now I am going to try to install DSL so that tomorrow my tasks will take less time and my phone line will be free as well.
I ask everyone to consider my request for volunteers to do a help page for their location. Check out Alan's page at http://alansorbit.blogspot.com/ to view an example for the United Kingdom that is linked to this site. I need help from all over the globe, so anyone that is interested please contact me at hannah@ourjourneysend.com. Join our family and lend a hand to this endeavor. All it will cost is the time it takes to gather information and post it on a blog set up for all members. I will gladly help any and all that wish to participate.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Monday, May 30, 2005

A Thick Life

TODAY'S QUOTE:
It is only by following your deepest instinct that you can lead a rich life, and if you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct, then your life will be safe, expedient and thin.
Katharine Butler Hathaway

I wake up every day with a built in need to super-size my moments, making even the smallest nibble of life a rich and satisfying meal. My notion of where that need began is from all the years when my life was mostly made up of times that needed no enlargement to be huge in their heartache. Having so few thick moments made me appreciate even the tiniest of pleasures. Agony overdosing did not jade my view of life in general, which is a miracle in itself, but it did teach me to art of attitude self-adjustment.
Attitude is everything. Without direction a person does no more than knee-jerk through agonies. I cannot testify for you, but if I am free-wheeling through disaster it will be because I was knocked unconscious, not because I threw my hands up in defeat, giving more suffering than is demanded is asinine in my estimation.
Some situations give you no choice, except to grab your socks and hold on for dear life. Panic makes the unchangeable even larger and more vivid in its intensity. The only way to put things in sane order is to alter your attitude whenever necessary, like loosening or tightening your belt, whichever is needed at any given moment to keep your ass from showing.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE
CLICK ON TITLE FOR FLASH MOVIE
(ATTITUDES)

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Self-consciousness

TODAY'S QUOTE:
Inspiration may be a form of superconsciousness, or perhaps of subconsciousness - I wouldn't know. But I am sure it is the antithesis of self- consciousness.
Aaron Copland US composer (1900 - 1990)

Knowledge of self is something that is only gotten by deep digging. I know my strengths, but I know my weaknesses just as completely. Knowledge of self is power in its purest form. Knowledge liberates the prisoner inside. And its a gift that only you can give to yourself.
I will be gone for the weekend so that is why I posted Saturday and Sunday on Friday. And it is also why this post is short. I am in a hurry to go meet my holiday. I hope everyone has a happy and safe time, no matter what their undertakings. See you on Monday.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Intense Imaginings

TODAY'S QUOTE:
There is only one admirable form of the imagination: the imagination that is so intense that it creates a new reality, that it makes things happen.
Sean O'Faolain Irish short story author (1900 - 1991)

Humans possess an ability to create an image of reality in their heads, a sort of preview function of the brain. I have been trained by life to 'flip the script' and take a peek at each imagining at its best and worst possible outcome. And I also know the correlation between drawing a picture in my head then transferring it to reality by measured deliberate actions.
Whatever limits we place on the intensity of our imaginings can affect the height and breath of their reality. When I gaze with wide eyes into my minds eye I try for a healthy balance, seeing too much can frighten, seeing too little can shrink desire. Whatever height I travel upward I venture the same distance downward, looking plainly at both. Rose colored glasses only muck up the view, and doom and gloom muddy the water. Set expectation ruin the recipe. Instinct is invaluable.
Reality is not always able to live up to the perceptions we erect inside the walls of our minds. Sometimes the image fades before we can grasp it tightly enough to begin the transformation. But every day I thank God that he gave me a mind that knows no limits to the intensity of its imaginings.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Friday, May 27, 2005

Breeding Ideas

TODAY'S QUOTE:
Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. John SteinbeckUS novelist (1902 - 1968)

My mind overflows with notions, some of them barren, others in different stages of gestation. I learned long ago that the things you feed your brain control the direction of your thoughts. If you dwell on the negative your rabbits will be dark haired and sharp toothed, but just as numerous as the white ones with cotton tails spawned by positive ideas.
I feed my mind with positives and knowledge of things wondered about. I feed it all it can hold and still function with any semblance of normality. I clean out the waste the best I am able, but have found that well fed rabbits do not have much time to make a mess because they are too busy playing with one another.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GO
THEN DECIDE

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Guiding Stars

TODAY'S QUOTE:
Ideals are like stars: you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the ocean desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them, you reach your destiny. Carl Schurz US (German-born) general & politician (1829 - 1906)

I am all for reaching for the stars, but twinkling orbs followed for destiny's sake should always be the ones that shine the brightest in your sight. We all look at things differently, each gazing from a unique perspective. Our destiny stars shine with a brilliance that is for our eyes only, at least in the beginning.
If it is true destiny I believe that others cannot fail to recognize its glow eventually, each from a slightly different angle. Dreams and ideals can overlap in that fashion. One destiny linking to another to expand something meant to be for the benefit of all. Starlight from one lone star reaching brilliant fingers to caress the edges of light shining from another, and in this way guide a larger group toward a common goal.
So choose your stars wisely, because you just might draw a crowd.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

The Saving Thing

TODAY'S QUOTE:
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)

A body shaking with laughter frees itself of all the biggest chunks left over from the obstacles we humans face during our lifetimes. Belly laughing is an instant cure for whatever ails ya'. And over time I have taken note of an awesome thought that always adds extra delight to my every chuckle.
The speed it takes to leave negative emotions behind in favor of hilarity is too rapid to calculate. But the speed to go from the happy plateau that laughter places you on back to a negative is not an instant undertaking. For that trip we have to make a u-turn and drive there voluntarily. Positives feel good, so we have a harder time deliberately giving them up, which makes them much more powerful than the negatives.
Positives create their own energy and humans absorb it as we are in its embrace. Negatives suck us dry, deflating us until everything becomes a chore. Enough negatives and even getting out of bed will seem like too much effort. But we can seek the comfort of mirth then refuse to make a u-turn. Grasp your funny bone with all your might and let laughter be your saving thing.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Being Level

TODAY'S QUOTE:
Our lives improve only when we take chances - and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
Walter Anderson

Living a lie is hard enough when someone else is making us do it without our knowledge or consent, but when we lie to ourselves it is much worse. I learned both those things at around the same time. I do not suffer liars now and I start with myself. I face my truths first and foremost, because if I cannot be honest with myself then I cannot in good conscience censure anyone else for same shortcomings.
I have learned that it is just the first step to admit a truth to yourself. Once that is done it is just as important to look at the reasons the lie began in the first place. Understanding that is the first step to forgiving yourself for whatever you must to get on with a life rooted in truth. Thoughts are outgrown like clothes well worn, yet we often hang onto them for too long. We get too comfortable in our surroundings, even if they are not ideal it often seems better than facing uncertainty.
There has been a wonderful inner expansion going on at this site. Some members are setting up help pages of their own, with the blogs provided with membership, for the areas in which they live. I plan to have a special page added here for easy viewing by location. Anyone who would be willing to do one for the state, country, or portion of either that they inhabit please get in touch with me. It costs nothing, but the time it takes to gather information and place it there. I am available to lead anyone who does not know how to blog. Please think about helping. I have a vision of one central location where helping hands around the world are joined in one place. I can never realize this vision without the help of others.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Monday, May 23, 2005

What's Underfoot

TODAY'S QUOTE:
The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.
James Oppenheim

I learned this a few years back, but still practice it as a way to get it perfectly right. We cannot always choose where we are located, yet we have the power to adjust our attitude as the situation demands. Why pin your hopes on a star so distant that you can never reach it. Why wait till tomorrow to be happy.
Where you stand is the place of the moment. Tomorrow you will be at a different point in your journey. If you are comfortable inside your own skin location will not affect your mood in a negative way. Own your space, plant healthy in the garden you own and weeds will not have a chance to sprout.
Be satisfied with yourself and you will not need to look to outside things to fill the empty spaces. Give of yourself and receive a rush you will never get any other way. Find your perfect pitch and the song of your soul will sing will amaze you. And everyone knows it is hard fact that singing to growing things will inspire stronger growth. Be happy with the garden that grows underfoot.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Strolling Along

TODAY'S QUOTE:
Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.
Eddie Cantor US comedian & singer (1892 - 1964)

Consider your path and the speed you travel down it. Consider who you walk beside and how the speed you choose affects their footsteps. Consider the fact that if you are in a hurry you are much more apt to forget something, or get tired enough to stop traveling at all and just settle for where you are as a final destination.
Life is not meant to be just a frantic trip from cradle to grave. Savoring every moment is a way of owning your space. What is really owned and valued is protected and appreciated. I could make a rich life anywhere I lived, because I own my three feet and it travels with me wherever I go. My happiness does not depend on any material object, it comes from being comfortable inside my own skin.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE
CLICK ON TITLE FOR FLASH MOVIE

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Gossip--Words Not Worth The Saying

TODAY'S QUOTE:
There is so much good in the worst of us,
And so much bad in the best of us,
That it hardly behooves any of us
To talk about the rest of us.
Edward Wallis Hoch Marion (Kansas) Record(1849 - 1925)

Gossip is verbal poison that infects the teller just as deeply as it does the one being spoken of. The world is overflowing with its venom. We judge harshly and condemn quickly much too often with words whispered from ear to ear that hold little truth in their content. Things are often not what they seem; assumptions and innuendos can destroy lives when wagging tongues attack.
I avoid gossip, discouraging its use in my presence and not repeating things I hear. I want to be liked, but will not don the dress of busybody to get attention. I deal in positives and gossip is grounded in negatives, adding my voice to half truths will not make them more factual.
Gossip that is true is none of my business anyway. If the person in question shares something with me I listen with out judgment, give advice if asked, offer support automatically, but I avoid breaking a confidence.
I was never a big gossip, but now I am not a gossip at all. I passed on information to a best friend only then had it come back to me through another friend and saw the grief it caused first hand, so I do not share negative things about people even in that context. My lesson was well-learned and I know now that to share smut with even the best of friends can be dangerous. I try to chat about positives and leave the dirt for others to spread if they must.


THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Friday, May 20, 2005

God's Image

TODAY'S QUOTE:
It is the creative potential itself in human beings that is the image of God.
Mary Daly

I believe each of us are born with a special God given gift. Some of us never find it, because life covers it in a pile of debris before we are old enough or aware enough to fantom its existence. Our diversity makes each gift unique, and the blending of our creative potential is what makes the world such a beautiful place.
While I was trying to do this post I was struggling with someone who is determined to believe of me things I am not capable of. How can a person change the mind of another if they put meanings to your words that you never imagined possible. And to try to do so after the last couple of days is more than I am capable of.
I feel as if I have lost a friend before I ever really found them and that makes me ache for what could have been if either of us were less stubborn. My personal space is precious to me and I set limitations on what I allow inside its boundaries, but that usually doesn't keep the important things out, but in this case it does.
I acted badly, out of frustration. I said things that should have been left unsaid. But I am smart enough to realize that sometimes I will be misunderstood. And I will misunderstand just as often as anyone else. That doesn't make me bad and it doesn't condemn them either.
I am reachable. I am real. But I have boundaries placed for the strength of my own soul. Some accept those limits with grace, some push against them in frustration. Some don't get me at all. I realize that I'm not everyone's cup of tea. This isn't the first friendship that has been lost over avoidable misunderstandings. And it won't be the last. But I pray that I'll remember how melancholy I feel now and adjust my attitude to avoid this sadness next time.
After I calm down I'll revisit this friendship and make whatever peace is possible, before I go on wiser from the experience. Maybe I won't take such offence next time, but if I do I pray that I can avoid responding in kind and only making matters worse. Saying nothing at all would've been much better than saying any of the things that I did say.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Fidelity

TODAY'S QUOTE:
Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
Helen Keller (1880 - 1968)

I cannot think of a better way to use fidelity than to invest it in something worth the bother. Journey's End has my passion, what I do here matters to me and it matters to some other's too. I spend vast amounts of my time keeping an old computer working so I can reach this place. I take time and thought over every word typed at both sites. I expanded, because I wished to touch more of you, and I wanted you to have a place to go when you felt alone. Our Journey's End is a home of your own, if you will. I did not do any of this for my gain.
I had too much on my plate and scaled back by deciding to stop working outside the home for the summer, so that I can focus all my spare time on this newborn. I will still be volunteering, but I need a flexibility I could not have while I was fracturing my time. This worthy purpose deserves a summer to see if I can populate it with a real family of friends.
I have a teenaged son who needs my foot on his tail, or he would be untamable by fall. I owe him my fidelity too. A man will replace the boy soon, and I am his only parent. To ignore his issues will not solve anything. That is my worthiest purpose.
How my touch affects other's matters to me. While I have a voice that is still strong, and a heart that aches for all the pain and confusion I encounter, I will continue traveling the course I have been on since last October.
My daughter is reading a book I wrote and she is hears me soul deep, which is a wonder to watch. I get much comfort from knowing that my voice will echo in a place where all who love me can reach long after I am gone. Leaving something worthy behind is true happiness, and it did not take wise words from a blind and deaf woman to teach me that. I learned it first hand, but I am so thankful that we agree.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Passing Up Dessert

TODAY'S QUOTE:
Courage is fear that has said its prayers. Dorothy Bernard

I recieved this email and loved it enough to place it hear to encourage all my friends to heed its profound message. Thank You Junie!
Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.
I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible. How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word "refrigeration" mean nothing to you?
How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television? I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, "How about going to lunch in a half hour?" She would gas up and stammer, "I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain." And my personal favorite: "It's Monday." ...She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.
Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect! We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Stevie toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.
Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to," "I plan on," and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit."
When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.
My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.
Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to......not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?
Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you.
Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask "How are you?" Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head?
Ever told your child, "We'll do it tomorrow." And in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say "Hi"?
When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.
Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends. To those I have sent this to... I LOVE you & cherish our friendship.
"Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!"

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

The Three Nothings

TODAY'S QUOTE:
To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
Elbert Hubbard US author (1856 - 1915)

None of us are above criticism, there is always someone who is all too happy to tell us how no good we are. But just because we are told that does not make it true. In fact people who criticize others are mostly just good at tearing things apart. If they were builders themselves they would be much too busy to pick apart what you erect.
To make yourself invisible, to stay safe from censure, robs the world of your touch. Shrinking your space to a small dark spot leaves all important things in hands other than your own. I would rather be criticized for something I tried to accomplish than ignored because I had nothing to give.
I have been very busy the last few days installing XP on this monster. I am back full force now and hope that some who read here did not think I forgot this special place and all who visit it. The three nothings do not live at Journey's End. The time in my life where the nothings controlled my actions are years behind me. I may not always do right, but I will never simply do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. And criticism will never stop me from doing my best, in fact it will spur me to try harder.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE
CLICK ON TITLE FOR FLASH MOVIE
(DON'T QUIT)

Monday, May 16, 2005

Price Verses Value

TODAY'S QUOTE:
What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet (1854 - 1900)

I lived with a cynic for thirty years. It was behavior learned long before we ever met. Unlearning things takes the same willingness to practice as learning them demands, and he was unlearning them well. He finally realized that we see what we look for, good and bad exists side-by-side, totally focusing on either makes the other less noticeable.
Things of real lasting value are priceless. Money buys stuff, but most stuff is manmade, its value decreases, it mostly just gets used up or worn out. The things that last come from inside, manmade too, but with material that is eternal in its strength. A true cynic sees stuff and measures life by the scale of how much stuff is owned, an optimist sees the valuable things and measures there.
I am a realist, but I am optimistic too. It is fact that is faced head on that makes me a realist. It is knowledge that good can come out of even the worst possible experience that keeps me optimistic. I am a healthy mix, who realizes well that price has nothing at all to do with real value. If all I own was destroyed tomorrow, I would still be rich in all that really matters to me.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE
CLICK ON TITLE FOR SOMETHING SPECIAL

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Solo Journey

YESTERDAY'S QUOTE:
Think of giving not as a duty but as a privilege.
John D. RockefellerJr., 1874-1960, American Philanthropist
TODAY'S QUOTE:
Ultimately, the only power to which man should aspire is that which he exercises over himself. - Elie Wiesel, Romanian-born Activist and Novelist

Yesterday was spent helping my best friend clean out the camper that will be our home on many weekends this summer. Memorial weekend will be spent in our state capital, with B.E.T. Raceway members, who are flagging the races held there that weekend. I am very excited about attending, and watching the races from the pit is a real treat. And meeting new people is always a joy.
But I am even more excited to be going to Springfield, which I have never visited. It is almost criminal that I have never been to the capital, since I do not live so very far as all that, and one of my brothers lives near there. Jerry would never go, I asked many times, but he always said someday. Someday never came, which is a life lesson all in itself.
This is the summer of many small road trips of my own. I still suffer from a shadow of the past where I was made dependent and if I leave it go, I may never adjust to flying free behind the wheel, except on roads I have traveled over and over for my lifetime. When I get near the edges of familiar terrortory I get tense.
I tell myself the world really is not flat and I will not suddenly drop off the edge, but even though my mind registers that fact the bogey man still rides shotgun. I know there are things about me, forged steal strong during the bad times, that I will have to live with. But accepting the terms they set is not an option. The past set limitations and it is up to me to push them back as far as I am capable of.
I admire women who can drive anywhere, like it is no big thing. I am not one of them. But I can strive to emulate them, even though I will never reach the place in my life where I can big city drive, I do not have to stay at tiny town level. On our trip to Springfield I will be paying close attention, so I can remake a solo journey before too very long. And an atlas is on my shopping list, because planning ahead takes a lot of the fear out of any endeavor.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Friday, May 13, 2005

Toils Highest Reward

TODAY'S QUOTE:
The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it. "John Ruskin (1819-1900)British writer & art critic

I love this quote. I like to think any good that comes from this will make all the pain worth its ache. Lives lost, honored by lives found. Tammy would be proud of this place and Jerry would be too, both for their own reasons. I look at it through their eyes from time to time, and like what I see.
I think of that young woman who just kept trying to make it right, until the effort finally cost her life. I think of that man who wanted so badly to live, yet he faced death bravely. She once said I was her inspiration. He said I was his strength. We changed each other, a strange triangle of walking wounded.
I walked happy beside a reformed abuser, the victim no more. She was made eternal victim. Knowing them made me see the best possible outcome and the worst, all at the same time. I am the example of how things can change for the better, she is the example of how things can end in tragedy. Loving them both enriched my life, losing them both in such tragic ways changed the course of my life.
I understood her pain. And she understood mine. Being a victim makes a person feel so isolated. There is a special emptiness that comes from hopelessness in the eyes of the abused. We can hide it from the masses, but recognize it in one another. I saw her agony, because it was a reflection of my own. She was the first in a long line of women I have encountered who share that expression, each face different, yet the eyes are the same. I soothe what I see, because I hear their silent screams.
I changed my life and the lessons learned along the way are recorded here, not for my sake, but for any who need a word of encouragement along the way. The tragedy's that litter my landscape gifted me with understanding I wish I had gotten some other way. But I can say with some pride that the toil of getting through has been the remaking of me.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Telling Yourself No

TODAY'S QUOTE:
Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself. Rabbi Abraham Heschel

The hardest no's I have ever said were one's said to myself. But they have also been the one's most valuable to my growth. Internal arguments are brutal sometimes, and some ground has to be recaptured over and over until it is securely under control. One door must close before another opens, and closing some takes brute force. The no's to self are the locks that keep who you were separate from who you are now.
Self-denial strengthens our sense of purpose, it gives us some control of what kind of issues we will have to deal with. I am no expert of self denial. I struggle with urges and choices the same as anyone else. At times I ignore the lessons learned and fail to put the breaks on when I know I should. But over time I have gotten much better at the task of saying no to myself.
I believe that as long as I breathe I will continue to need to tell myself no, more often than is comfortable, I am certain. It would be nice if there were a built in switch, a kind of autopilot set to auto no on issues that keep reappearing, but this is more of a practice makes perfect kind of task. So I will continue to practice, with all the skill I can summon up, and pray that my ability will more often than not be equal to the demands put upon it. Self-respect and dignity seem a just reward for the strength building burden of self-denial.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Drifting Through Life

TODAY'S QUOTE:
There are two ways to slide easily through life; to believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking. Alfred Korzybski US (Polish-born) author, logician, & scientist (1879 - 1950)

Things that come too easily are less valued than the struggled for. Just because you make less effort does not make it a better situation, and why would you want to make less effort in the living of your one and only lifetime. To blanket your mind with total belief or total doubt will keep it isolated from the broader thinking it is capable of. The absence of thought is scary to me.
If you save yourself from thinking, what are you saving your thoughts for? They do not pile up like unused vacation days that you can cash in at the end to buy more time. They do not go into an account and draw interest. Once denied or unused they are long gone, and you end up just drifting from situation to situation with no direction.
Thoughts are the wind that fills our sails. Thoughts are the map we plot our course upon. Uttered they reveal our soul, but even silent they define who we are and what we care about. Not thinking about something does not make it go away. Not thinking only guarantees that whatever the end result, you certainly had no hand in the outcome. Drift along if you must, but do not look for me there.
I rode on that raft long ago, letting others do my thinking for me. I ended up stuck in an abyss I almost could not escape from. But I did get free, and I will continue to be free of that mindless position where I just drifted along at someone else's will. If an easy life came from not thinking I want a refund for all the years I was short-changed. Give me back all the time stolen.
I will not hold my breath waiting for that. I will not make myself breathless in that fashion, for a lost cause. I will think long thoughts and be satisfied at the end that I had a hand in my own destination. I will have convictions born from careful consideration. I will demand of my brain the things it is capable of, and not simply drift along on less than I deserve.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

The Last Small Twig

TODAY'S QUOTE:
I do not want to die... Until I have faithfully made the most of my talent and cultivated the seed that was placed in me until the last small twig has grown.
Kathe Kollwitz O Magazine, September 2002

I placed this quote on Our Journey's End's motivational calendar almost three weeks ago, I received notice of the flash movie late yesterday afternoon. I am on the mailing list so I get word whenever a new one comes out. And I watch every movie with an eye toward its possible use here. The perfect mesh between this quote and flash film left me almost breathless. Go figure!
Viewed separately they are powerful enough, uniting them here multiplies each. Now if I am up to task, whatever I add to the mix will not subtract from the clarity of the message they impart. I consider it an honor to join my words to theirs.
The fact that a woman in Illinois and a man in Singapore were working in a kind of synch, without communicating in any way, tells me that a higher hand is involved. I pour over hundreds of quotes to find the ones that I wished I had said about things that I can relate to, none are selected lightly. Sing Cher gets poetry from many sources (even me) and I know he picks and chooses with care too. When content reflects back on you, in some fashion, you are more careful what is placed under your header. When you dress up in a suit, you do not put on house slippers.
It took the talent of four people, living worlds apart, to build this special message, in such a special way. Kathe Kollwitz's words were written in a magazine almost three years ago. I stumbled onto them three weeks ago. Grace E. Easley's poem has no date attached that I could see, yet it came to Sing Cher's attention and he selected music and photos to honor it then published it on just the right day to make the circle complete. Pause just a second to digest how unlikely that would just happen on its own.
Four talents, four seeds, planted in separate fields, at separate times are rooted together here, proving that when you use the talent God gave you, fated situations appear almost out of nowhere and take your breath away. We each have a special talent that only we can do in our own unique way. All humans have something to give, some gift to offer. But all too often the exercising of them is abandoned in the mad dash of living, as if its some crazy race till the death.
I do not want to die either, till I have a chance to leave the world a better place somehow. I plant seeds of comfort that I hope will still be sending up fresh shoots long after I am gone. If I succeed in my aim the last small twig will not depend on my tending, since I will not be gardening here forever, but will live on in the minds and hearts of those who contemplate my words forevermore.
Not for fame which nowadays is no picnic, but for the sake of the message I try so hard to pass on. The message is not mine, although the way I give it comes from that gift of God's kiss before birth. He kisses us all, placing seeds deep within each of us, the tending of them is left to us though. If you know where your seeds are then start planting them without delay. If you do not know then get busy finding them, because harvest time will roll around before you know it.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE
CLICK ON TITLE FOR FLASH MOVIE
(A SPECIAL PLACE)

Monday, May 09, 2005

The Key

TODAY'S QUOTE:
The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance - and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning.
Oprah Winfrey

I cannot imagine putting heart and soul into a dream I could not believe in. Our Journey's End is a dream realized, every breath it takes is precious, but if it all ended tomorrow it would still be a resounding success of significance, and that is all I care about. Even one lighter heart is well worth the struggle to get here. And every ounce of comfort given is more valuable to me than its equal weight in gold.
Passion given to a dream of significance feeds on itself, growing in strength with even the tiniest step toward reality. There is real joy to giving something back. We all have the ability, but not everyone has the inclination. The purer the dream the more soul-deep the source. And some of us just never dip that far below the surface.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE
CLICK ON TITLE FOR LINK
TO MY NEW SITE
THIS IS LINKED THERE BY CLICKING
ON HANNAH'S JOURNAL

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Perfectly Natural

TODAY'S QUOTE:
The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for. Oscar Wilde

And once realized the sky is the limit as to what you can accomplish. Material possessions do not measure the man, but whatever you own inside certainly does. Self-development is like a school where you are teacher and student all rolled into one. Unplanned events teach one way, a lesson plan designed by you, instructs from a different perspective.
There are so many things in life that are forced upon us, knowing ourselves better seems a dangerous thing to leave to chance. What comes into our lives on its own is out of our control, but what is invited in surely is not. If you want to be truly happy get comfortable in your own skin. Life should never feel like a prison, but it often does when we have not bothered to master the boundaries we inhabit.
Whoever you are deserves to exist. It is perfectly natural to be you, but a large number of us lack a real clue about who that even is. I know this to be fact, because I knew very little about myself until I reached my forties.
I have been learning ever since, and I invest some of my time and energy, each day, ingesting things that feed my positives. Consciousness expands like elastic, but you have to tug, it is not an automatic reflex, for crying out loud.
A mind cannot digest a constant diet of cotton candy then be expected to ponder profound issues with any success. Life can derail a person's position, but the right mindset centers you back on track, exactly where you need to be located. Finding your center well insures a much faster recovery. And searching for it is perfectly natural way to begin to realize your nature perfectly.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE
CLICK ON THE TITLE TO VISIT MY NEW SITE
THIS SITE CAN BE REACHED FROM THAT LOCATION
BY CLICKING ON HANNAH'S JOURNAL

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Good judgment

TODAY'S QUOTE:
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. Barry LePatner

I have exercised bad judgment enough to agree with this quote, but I also know the struggle to master the urges that drive bad judgments is an ongoing task. Just because I can write does not mean I possess some magic ability to function on a level above temptation. God like I am not, all too human describes me in a much more realistic fashion.
I try to do good things, think worthy thoughts, feel every emotion fully, utter words worth hearing, fix what is broken, and leave the rest alone. I leave judging to God. I leave gossip and criticism to those who deal in such things, showing by example that I am not into such petty endeavors. I leave ego behind in favor of self-awareness. I leave the past to reach the future.
I am ordinary, with a twist. I understand things, because while I was going through them I paid close attention, taking notes when able, taking note in any case. I am just a woman, but wherever you are, chances are I have been there. I am a better person than I was yesterday, but please do not expect a perfection from me that I have no power to deliver.
I have better judgment than I used to possess. In some areas I can rate it good, others less so. I do not seek to encourage people to be like me, but I do beg them to be themselves. I am more than a product of where I have been, I am also a reflection of where I am going. I am satisfied with where I am today, but it will not be where I will be satisfied to be tomorrow.
I think long thoughts, but know how to contemplate short ones too. I am a mix of profound thinker and court jester. I can be silent for long periods or chatter non stop. I listen and really hear. I am who I am, good judgment and bad. I am me and that makes up for all that I am not. The most valuable judgment I ever made, in my whole lifetime, was to judge myself worthy enough to deserve a life I could live with some measure of comfort.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE
CLICK ON TITLE TO VISIT MY NEW SITE
IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN THERE YET

Friday, May 06, 2005

The Hard Teacher

TODAY'S QUOTE:
Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards. Vernon Sanders Law

Hard lessons learned in hard knock school are often painful, but always valuable in the knowledge imparted that could not be gleamed any other way. I know more about myself from having attended, which in a twisted way makes me a proud student of such a maligned institution. Experience teaches the hard way, but once a lesson is learned it is unforgettable.
And nothing learned that way is wasted. Every lesson can be used throughout your lifetime. Each passed test is a reason for celebration, while all failed exams impart enough information to ace the make up. You always get as many make ups as needed to finally learn. And determination to be clueless helps your case, not at all. In a real way Journey's End can act as study material for the subjects I have completed so far, and since I plan never to stop learning its benefits will grow as I do.
I have no way of knowing what subject matter will be next on the agenda, nobody does. Life has a way of unraveling the plans we make, and dealing with sudden detours is just part of hard knock training. I make plans, delight in the challenge of implementing them, while paying close attention to all lessons, both bad and good, that come with each different experience. I have learned well that the quicker you absorb the lesson the quicker you can move on, ignoring the need to learn will not make things fall into place. Inattention to those details will derail your plans, until you graduate in knowledge.
Knowledge is power, and no place is that more evident than hard knock school. Sitting in the back of class, hoping the teacher will ignore your presence there only guarantees that you will be called on for an answer you do not possess. Learn what you can, absorb what you must, then pass it on to others. That is my plan, and my delight.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Dancing With Skeletons

TODAY'S QUOTE:
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
George Bernard Shaw--Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 - 1950)

I have never had the pleasure of meeting a perfect human. We each have things better left hidden. But the most interesting people I know used to be someone less than they are now. And I know many other's who are in the midst of wondrous growth spurts. Everyone comes from somewhere to get to where they want to end up. Life is a constant renewal. We have seasons of the soul, and we have power over their duration, which is really awesome when you think about it.
It just makes sense that when choosing a destinations, to pick one better than your present location. Moving up demands that you tidy what is left behind, but it does not ask that you bring along the things that no longer fit your lifestyle. Old bones matter hardly at all, if you no longer add to their number, no matter how they dance, if you get my drift.
All along the trail there will be choices, some picking up places, some dumping grounds. A deep inside voice that works very similar to the prompters you get on the computer, when you are downloading and installing programs, will give you clear direction. The soul is self in its purest form, so that voice will never steer you foul. And a pure soul can out-dance a ton of dusty bones, without breaking a sweat.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Making Friends With Fear

TODAY'S QUOTE:
To use fear as the friend it is, we must retrain and reprogram ourselves...We must persistently and convincingly tell ourselves that the fear is here--with its gift of energy and heightened awareness--so we can do our best and learn the most in the new situation.
Peter McWilliams-Life 101

Journey's End has always used negatives in positive ways, my pain and the healing of it is here to give hope to people facing the same battles. Your opponent may be different from the ones I have faced, but the mindset needed to win is identical. The sumtotal of your battles is the measure of your life. And the joy of being in real control of your final score is well-worth the struggle of recapturing the power position in your own life.
Painful and scary situations demand much from us, yet what they give back is precious. Realizing that you have the power inside to survive whatever you face gives you the ability to thrive afterwards. Use the special tools that fear gifts you with, without letting the fear stop you from achieving all you can, if you only try.
On these pages I walk side-by-side with you, inside this home I do so in real time. I had to leave one path to get on this one. I used to inch along alone, but now I travel beside whoever needs me at the speed of their footsteps through terrain I know well. I share my map, yet encourage you to draw one of your own. And as I watch healing occur I am healed as well. My pain and fear, in saving others some, is validated in a way that turns a negative into a positive, and that is the nucleus of Journey's End and the birthright of Our Journey's End.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE

Monday, May 02, 2005

The Way You Carry Things

TODAY'S QUOTE:
It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.
Lena Horne, American Singer and Actress

Do you hug burdens lover tight? Do you let your issues and problems define who you are? Do you allow other people to place their garbage into the trunk you carry? Do you fret about facts that you have no power to change? Do not panic if any of the do you's listed are traits you possess!
Burdens are not lovers. Some can be solved, some cannot, but loving them enough to embrace them gives them an importance that they do not deserve. Adjust them for easier carrying, if they are ones you have to tote around (ill health and such issues, or widowhood as is my unsolvable burden), but getting past things demands a measure of letting go.
I am a widow, yet that is just a tiny portion of who I am. It defines such a small part of the whole. It is what happened to me, not something I chose. It is a fact I cannot change. I am it, it is not me, if you can understand that in my case, use it to get better understanding of your own unique situation.
I pack my own trunk nowadays, but I clearly remember how effortless it was for other people to shove it full of shit when I was too overwhelmed to fight it. Once you focus on that it is easy to say no to special deliveries. Make other people deal with there own demons, so your trunk stays empty enough to hold the treasures you choose to fill it with. And treasures are no burden to carry, they lighten the load in ways that will surprise you.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE
CLICK ON TITLE FOR FLASH MOVIE
(CHANGING THE WORLD)

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Mind Over Matter

TODAY'S QUOTE:
The mind has exactly the same power as the hands; not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
Colin Wilson, English Author

I used to think that I had no choice, except to live the life I was handed, but I learned that what we are handed is only a small part of the puzzle, unless we make more of it than it needs to be. I thought I had no influence over the outcome of things. I thought how I felt was unimportant. I thought I was impotent, doomed to just drift along, constantly being pulled under by forces of life and love. I thought wrong!!!!!
Waking up to reality convinced me that one person can change the world. Maybe not the world at large, but certainly the world they touch. I know it is possible, because I have experienced it firsthand. It was only my own thoughts that kept me in that place where I had no influence over my own happiness. Once I let go of all the thoughts telling me I could not, things changed.
Changing the world at large is much more complicated. That takes reach. I am reaching here, to encourage all who read my words. Changing the world you live in is worth the bother, giving up is saying that what you possess is good enough. Few of us can say that and really mean it. I certainly cannot. And I never will! If enough of us change the negatives surrounding us, the change to the world at large will be evident.

THINK ABOUT IT
LET IT GROW
THEN DECIDE